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Thread: Macabre or just me being over sensitive

  1. #1
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    Apr 2010
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    Default Macabre or just me being over sensitive

    Mr friend lost her mother about a year or so ago and had just had a ring made of her ashes. The ashes are actually incorporated in the melted silver. I know they were very close, but I find it a bit macabre, my mother is 99 in December and is and always will be my darling and I love her dearly, fortunately she has all her marbles and is very mobile too, so a lot to be grateful for, but even though I love her so much, putting her remains in a ring is out of the question. My opinion is that she is in my heart and always will be so why do I need the shell. I would be interested in other opinions, as I cant really get my head around it.

  2. #2
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    Nov 2014
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    Cheshire
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    I'm entirely with you on this one pat, it seems a little weird to me. My dad died a couple of years ago and my mum a few months ago........my sister keeps their ashes next to each other on a shelf in her garage! ...... completely beyond me, but she seems unable to let go of the physical remains - I am non plussed by this, and certainly wouldn't want them mixed into silver etc. My dad wanted to go up in a firework, which I think would have been a good idea, but neither of my sisters wanted to do this - I guess everyone reacts differently. Perhaps making ashes into jewellery is just the modern version of mourning jewellery with the hair of the loved one used, something the victorians seemed to love.
    Takes all sorts!
    Sue

  3. #3
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    Some people find comfort in wearing a pendant containing the ashes and I can understand that. But being cynical by nature, I doubt that you can be sure of what you have been given.

  4. #4
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    Sep 2014
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    Its one of the things I do- ashes in resin.
    Different people cope in different ways and I think we need to understand and accept that.
    It may not be right for you but for others it gives a lot of comfort.
    As far as not being sure of what you are given , I would consider it absolutely horrendous to not be extremely conscientious about making sure it was the right ashes and would certainly hope anybody else doing it would feel the same.
    I would certainly hope that any of the smaller companies would be dependable on that score.
    There was a case a while back where an animal crematorium was found to not be supplying the individual ashes that people were paying a lot of money to have and thats been going through the courts with people absolutely heartbroken on finding out.
    I would hope that is a one off.

  5. #5
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    This really goes back to Victorian times when hair was incorporated into jewellery and mourning jewellery was all the rage because people didn't live so long and photographs and films weren't available to remember your loved ones by. There is actually some very beautiful mourning jewellery out there.
    Now you can have ashes made into a diamond or set in resin. Not something I did, Mum and Dad were scattered in their courting spot and a bit on the roses! I wouldn't want to wear them but I understand how some need that attachment

  6. #6
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    I made a necklace for a friend with her dog's ashes in resin. I think it really depends on your beliefs and feelings. I might keep some, but think I would have them contained in something to wear rather than the diamond/resin thing.
    Our family have always had an 'it's just an old coat you won't need any more' thing, so not massively bothered about physical remains though.

  7. #7
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    Jul 2014
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    Preston, Lancashire.
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    I can definitely understand the want to keep a physical reminder of a loved one.
    I have the world's worst memory - two weeks after coming back from holiday, I couldn't tell you what the hotel room looked like. So, I worry that my memories of even my nearest and dearest people are fading. Having something beautiful and personal made up to keep a little part of them close would really help me.

  8. #8
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    Dec 2014
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    South Australia
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    Not my thing but every one has different ideas
    I can't speak for the UK but the only way ensure you receive the correct ashes over here is to not take you sight of the coffin until it becomes ashes (no one in
    the funeral industry will admit that)

  9. #9
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    Sep 2011
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    We do venerate dead bodies a bit these days.. all that stuff aboput holding a funeral for someone's appendix which was picked for research and left forgotten on a shelf.

    As a former lawyer and who has a friend who deals with probate and intestate people as his working life my advice is make a will and decide for yourself what you want doing with your body then tell everyone - and if you think that they won't do it, organise and pay for your wishes now. Nothing divides and causes rifts in families like no will or an unclear will or the indignation which follows not getting what you expected (even Paul Daniel's son is at it in the papers today)
    www.Pearlescence.co.uk
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  10. #10
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
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    Brighton, United Kingdom
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    I saw a video of someone hand turning mugs with the ashes in the clay... I can't really imagine using one what if a guest did?

    I feel undecided on the jewelry thing. I've known people buy or commision special memorial pieces sans ashes also something themed to remind them.

    Sent from my HTC One_M8 using Tapatalk
    Last edited by Kathryn Harrison; 20-10-2016 at 01:26 PM.

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