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Thread: Did You Hear About The Apprentice Who…..?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    Central London
    Posts
    8,136

    Default Did You Hear About The Apprentice Who…..?

    Apprentices are quite low in the food chain, so they are in for a bit of ribbing when they first start.

    One was sent across the road to get an offset centre punch. When he came back he was told he had to fill all the holes in a honeycomb block.

    A posh company gave their apprentices a set of basic tools on arrival. Then they were told they’d have to get them hallmarked before they could start work.

    The list is endless, from finding a battery for a Sievert torch, to bending a piece of wire straight. I expect some of you will know a lot more.

    It’s Friday again, so Have a good weekend. Dennis.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Witchford cambridgeshire
    Posts
    146

    Default

    normally sent to the stores for a long weight.

    Neil
    Neil

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    London
    Posts
    502

    Default

    Don't forget the trip to get a glass hammer and a diamond magnet. Oh, and those rubber punches for delicate hallmarking, and the bucket full of steam for steam cleaning the punches!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Romsey
    Posts
    4,988

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    Camouflage (or tartan) paint.
    A jar of spirit level bubbles (with the followup question from the storesman - square or round?).

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    London
    Posts
    886

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    My dad is an electrician and always told me the stories of what they sent apprentices to get. Tartan paint was definitely my favourite!

    I've never heard the jar of spirit level bubbles before though!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    England
    Posts
    1,896

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    I can remember someone suggesting to go and buy some elbow grease and a left handed screwdriver.

    James

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    Location
    Manchester
    Posts
    632

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    Send the apprentice to the shop for a bottle of dehydrated water. Tell him that nothing quenches thirst and hot metals like it.
    Last edited by Aurarius; 12-05-2015 at 01:14 PM.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Scotland
    Posts
    2,900

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    My mum used to send new paper boys across to the joiners for a long stand :/

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    London
    Posts
    502

    Default

    what about 10ft of fallopian tube?, a Bee-line?, an AC battery?, A runnaround?, some fire warmer? ,a hard punch?, some holes for the hole punch?, some mercury rods?, a peedo-file?, bearing grease for a compass?, sauerkraut seed?, sparks (or spark samples) for a grinder? , a mammary gland?, tuning fork for a fog horn?, white ink for the inkjet printer?, winter grade air for winter tyres?, some high fives? , some skyhooks?,
    Ooohhh.....I had a horrible time in my first jobs...must have been because I was so ridiculously naive and eager to please!!!

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    dear old Blighty - (in deepest Wiltshire)
    Posts
    1,639

    Default

    my late husband once sent me out to our garage, a few weeks after we were married to get some headless nails to put up or new shelves - as a dutiful new bride, I was happy to oblige. In return, I asked him to purchase some headless whitebait at the local shop. He didn't ask again

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