Any body got a good joke?

[Lisa Quinn]

Gill, you are my new heroine xx

Getting banned from the Co Op must make you a very very naughty lady xx I so wish I had been in the queue

[kymbi]

I nearly spat my tea across the keyboard there Gill - that was brilliant

[Tigerlily]

Oh Gill that really did make me giggle!! I can't believe they banned you though lol!! xx

[GillJewel]

munch munch ..woof!

[MuranoSilver]

OH my goodness that is so funny - I can't see you blinded me -
and now I've got the squinty snots and my side hurts!!!
Nic xxx

[Di Sandland]

Yesterday I was at my local CO-OP buying a large bag of Purina dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that . . . . no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I
ended up in hospital last time, but that I'd lost 2 stones before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's arse and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

I'm now banned from the Co-op!

Gill, I somehow managed to miss this - but it's brilliant. Thank you for making me laugh so hard.

[Mila Jewellery]

Very good!

[Lindyloo]

Very funny. That takes guts

[Jayne]

it is the dogs bo****ks
J x

[Sunnybank]

That cheered me up, thanks