Sorry i havent been around much over the last few days, things suddenly blew up around me and i have been trying to get my head around it all.

On Thursday last week, my husband of nearly 27 years, moved out, wanting some time to think. He went off and slept on the boat.

He had said he would go with me to the Rock and Gem show at the Brighton Racecourse on Saturday, and he kept that promise and duly arrived to pick me up. It was obvious from the moment he walked in and politely asked if he could take a shower and make a coffee, that he no longer regarded it as home. It was a very stressful and emotional day, both of us upset, both assuring each other that we still loved one another, but agreeing that we just couldnt live together any more. Faults are on both sides, and we have been struggling for a couple of years now. On wednesday he suddenly lost it, and he decided enough was enough and that it was time to go before we started hating each other.

Friday would have been Rikkis 23rd birthday so we were both already fragile about that, and on the whole, if you could ignore the crircumstances, we actually had a very pleasant trip to the show. But even tho i guess i knew in my heart of heart that it was inevitable, i am struggling with saying that i am now seperated.

As yet we havent said the word divorce, but i dont believe there is any going back for either of us so i guess we will face it in time.

Atm he is happy to support the house and let me stay there, and he will find a flat to rent, as he knows that i love my home and dont want to move. He has however, asked that when my mum passes away, and therefore dont need the annexe, that i then give it up so that he can buy a little place rather than rent. I sort of agreed, but i hate the thought of it, and Kit piped up that he was hoping he could move in there when she went, which made him rethink, so lets hope there is still a chance i can stay there.

Anyway, i just thought i would let you know what has happened, and why i have been rather quiet. I am sure normal service will be resumed shortly, and if i put my rational head on i know its for the best. Just a big adjustment to get used to after 30 years of my life with him, so i will take it day by day.