A new chapter of my life begins.

**Solunar Silver Studio** · 23-11-2009, 12:47 PM

Oh Su' - What a terrible jolt for you - and your whole family. You are being so sensible trying to keep everything amicable...it only makes everything so much harder on everybody when people feel they have to start taking sides. At the end of the day - people and relationships are the most important thing, and although you love your house and it will hold so many memories for you - it is only bricks and mortar. So long as you keep your loved ones close you can build a warm and loving home in any house...if it comes to that.
Plenty of hugs and positive vibes from me too...

**bustagasket** · 23-11-2009, 01:04 PM

thank you, i will take one step at a time

**Ominicci** · 23-11-2009, 01:31 PM

Originally Posted by Solunar Silver Studio

Oh Su' - What a terrible jolt for you - and your whole family. You are being so sensible trying to keep everything amicable...it only makes everything so much harder on everybody when people feel they have to start taking sides. At the end of the day - people and relationships are the most important thing, and although you love your house and it will hold so many memories for you - it is only bricks and mortar. So long as you keep your loved ones close you can build a warm and loving home in any house...if it comes to that.

I agree. Nothing to add, just a few of these

**Ominicci** · 23-11-2009, 01:35 PM

And I love that you named the thread as you did... you're already on the right track and looking forward.

**Lisa Quinn** · 23-11-2009, 02:06 PM

Oh Su, I am so unbelievably sorry that you are having to go through this. After 12 years of marriage my first husband came home and told me that he was leaving, I know that there is nothing I can say to make you feel ok, however I really wish I was there to give you the biggest hug because you are a lovely, kind, thoughtful, generous person and I can't put into words how much I'm thinking of you and hoping that it all becomes bearable very soon

Lisa
xxx

**Di Sandland** · 23-11-2009, 02:26 PM

Su' I've been thinking about you and there is something I just wanted to add.

Years and years ago - about 30 in fact - a very similar thing happened to me. Okay, I hadn't invested 30 years of my life in the relationship - I hadn't even been alive for 30 years! But I had invested my soul and we had a daughter and I thought my world had ended. Like you, I knew that the end had come really but I hung on and hung on because there seems to be safety in what you know.

I won't lie, the first little while was hell. I couldn't understand why my news wasn't on the telly news and the world seemed to be composed of couples and I just didn't fit in.

Then one morning something marvellous happened: I realised I was no longer walking on eggshells. I wasn't deliriously happy but I wasn't constantly miserable either.

From this end of the story our break up was as you so wisely say the beginning of a new chapter. There have been many new chapters since, some good and some not so good, but these are the chapters that tell the story of my life. You know what? There isn't a book I would rather have written than this one.

Hang on in there because I promise you it will all turn out for the best in the end.

**MuranoSilver** · 23-11-2009, 02:33 PM

OMG Su, after he'd been so supportive getting your studio set up too.
Sorry this has happened but as you say, "a new chapter" may be just around the corner....
LOVE & SUPPORT winging it's way to you
Nic xx

**bustagasket** · 23-11-2009, 04:14 PM

wow thank you all so much for your support , i really do appreciate it. He tried as i did Nic but we have just grown apart and want different things.

Di you have hit the nail right on the head, as i often describe myself as walking on eggshells, and i have hung on from fear of the unknown i guess.

Having spent so much time on my own over the last year or so, i am pretty used to it, although the nights are obviouly the scary bit. Having got this far, i dont think it would be wise for us to turn back as nothing would change in the long term and the problems would still be there.

I will be happier when he has a proper place to live instead of the boat, so that he is more settled and will feel like he has his own space.

I went to work today and we were amicable with each other, he even gave me a couple of designs he had drawn. So i have high hopes that we can remain good friends.

**caroleallen** · 23-11-2009, 05:19 PM

Oh Su, I don't have the right words to say but know that we're all thinking of you. I know it's only been a short time that we've all been on this forum, but I feel I know you and we all care for you very much as you've always been such a warm and lovely person.

**agent_44** · 23-11-2009, 06:18 PM

Originally Posted by Moon Cottage

I won't lie, the first little while was hell. I couldn't understand why my news wasn't on the telly news and the world seemed to be composed of couples and I just didn't fit in.

Then one morning something marvellous happened: I realised I was no longer walking on eggshells. I wasn't deliriously happy but I wasn't constantly miserable either.

That's pretty much how I would describe what happened when my ex left me. I was totally devastated, and honestly wished I was dead. Then one day I suddnley realised how 'free' I was starting to feel and realised how much control he had over me wether he meant to or not, and then soon after, started to look forward to the future with this new freedom and the ability to just be myself and do what I really wanted with my life.

Reason I say all this is because I know you have said lots of things that gave me the impression that you felt restricted, and while you have a lot to deal with and it's not something to be made light of, your future is now your own and just yours to do what you want with. I'm sure you'll make it through and come out on top Su